Football Sucks

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I can’t even believe I am writing this blog to be completely honest.  Not because the Browns managed to lose their 28th game in 29 chances this past Sunday.  I’ve been watching the Browns for almost 25 years.  Probably closer to 20, but that’s neither here nor there.  This past weekend was just the worst loss.  There have been some historically laughable ways to lose, but this one takes the cake.

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The game started out with the Packers marching down the field, and Hundley hitting Jaamal Williams, who was wide the fuck open for a touchdown.  Browns rookie signal-caller, DeShone Kizer, led the Browns on a 7 play, 84 yard drive ending in six.  Kizer hit a leaping Josh Gordon for an 18 yard touchdown.

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The game would remain 7-7 through the end of the first quarter.  In the second, Kizer hit Duke Johnson for a 7 yard touchdown.  The Browns had taken a 7 point lead!  Well I’ll be!  Later on in the third quarter, Kizer hit Corey Coleman on a quick slant for a 2 yard touchdown.  Holy shit!  A two possession lead now!  The score moved to 21-7 Browns.  Was this the day?

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You obviously know the answer by now, huh?  Well, if you don’t let me enlighten you.  The Browns fucking choked.  AGAIN.  The Browns were playing sound football in all three phases of the game.  They were playing good defense, stretching the field passing the ball, and running for almost 7 yards a pop.  The second the score hit 21-7 all of that stopped.   Hundley lead a 13 play, 75 yard drive ending in a Jaamal Williams 1 yard touchdown run.  The Browns of course went 3 and out on their next possession, giving the Packers the ball back with 3 min to play.  The punt would be returned into Browns territory after all 11 Browns broke from their rush lanes.  Hundley then marched the Cheeseheads only 25 yards on 7 plays ending in a Davante Adams 1 yard tying touchdown.

The Browns managed to win the coin-toss in overtime, but DeShone Kizer decided he’d rather throw the game away.  Literally.  On 3rd and long, close to mid-field, Kizer was in the grasp of a sack,  and decided he would hurl the ball high in the air.  Can of corn for the defense.  I mean you could get on a knee and propose to the ball it was thrown so high.  There wasn’t a Brown in the same zip code.  Obviously this interception lead to the Packers taking home the W, and keeping their playoff hopes alive.

5 Positives:

  1. Josh Gordon scored in his home debut.  Looked like an asshole in sunglasses though.
  2. Defense, Defense, Defense.  It is still the major strength of this team.  They can stop anyone, anytime (except in the fourth quarter with time running out, or in overtime)
  3. Isiah Crowell rushed for over 100 yards for the first time all season.  Makes sense why they stopped giving him the ball in the second half right?
  4. Only three more games left of this horrible, miserable, terrible, no good, very bad season.
  5. It’s almost Christmas, and you know that means Angry Browns Fans Christmas carols:

Let me first say DeShone Kizer, GET THE FUCK OFF MY TEAM.  What a horrendous decision to throw the ball there.  How does he think that’s ok?  Seriously? He’s without a doubt the least intelligent quarterback  in the NFL to date.  Kizer’s miscue is another reflection on coaching.  Before he even makes that throw, he should know that he should 1. throw the ball away, or 2. get the fuck down.  That is a reflection on Hue Jackson if Kizer thinks its cool to wing it.  Jackson’s tenure can’t end soon enough.  What a miserable fucking coach.  Fuck Hue Jackson.

The rest of the way will likely be win-less.  It’s a feeling I don’t wish on fans of my biggest rival.  Each week being hopeful they will pull it together for 60 minutes to just win one.  Some teams get pissed if their team misses the playoffs, or loses a playoff game.  I just want the Browns to win one fucking game.  That is all.

The Browns have the Steelers, Ravens, and Bears to finish off 2018.  I hope that somehow, someway they get their ducks in a row just ONE FUCKING TIME.  It just looks like a win is not in the cards.  The Browns will finish 0-16 this year, and Browns need to send up some prayers that after 18 years 0-16 is finally rock bottom.

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Office Chatter Episode 6

In the sixth installment of our title podcast, we discuss the newfound fact that the NFL is violent. We touch upon the big stories in Week 14, including JuJu’s & Gronk’s hit, the return of everybody’s favorite sober WR, and if Case Keenum has done enough to prove himself. The gang (minus one) also discusses the breaking news of Rafael Palmeiro wanting to attempt a comeback and Ohtani doing whatever he wants. We touch on the upcoming winter olympics and how some of us think it’s a waste of time. Last, we finish out with our “Jackass of the Week.”


Last Week’s Episode

Cleveland Browns Relieve Director of Player Personnel (GM), Sashi Brown.

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There it is Browns fans!  We are officially in Step 1 of the Bi-annual firing spree in Berea, Ohio.  The move comes with very little surprise.  Sashi Brown was the architect of a 1-27 football team.  Something had to give sooner or later.  Hue seems to have lobbied his way to winning the power struggle between the front office and coaches.    Hue’s main gripe was that the Front Office did not provide him with the players needed to win.  I couldn’t disagree more.

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In the end, I think the quarterback position was Sashi’s eventual downfall.  They piddled around hoping that lower value picks (Kessler, Kizer) would boom big.  Neither are a total bust, as both have shown that they could play in the right situation.  The kicker is Wentz, Goff, and Watson.  At some point in the last two drafts, Sashi had a chance to pick any of those three.  Goff doesn’t technically count, as the Rams traded up to #1 overall to take him.  There is no excuse for the others.  They did not believe Wentz was a top 20 quarterback.  He will likely be an MVP finalist this year.  They didn’t love the lack of arm strength in Deshaun Watson.  If Watson stays healthy, I have little doubt he would be the Offensive Rookie of the Year in the AFC.

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Personally, I have the gut feeling that they are cutting the chord too early.  Sashi had some blunders in his two years at the helm that’s for damn sure.  He let Taylor Gabriel walk, he let Mitchell Schwartz walk, he let Tashaun Gipson walk, he cut Joe Haden, and many more.  All of those pieces would help this team drastically (minus Haden).  Sashi traded veteran linebacker Demario Davis to the Jets for Safety Calvin Pryor.  Pryor is currently on the Jaguars practice squad, while Davis is playing every snap on defense for the Jets.  There are some obvious blunders which any executive will make.  Even with those blunders,Sashi did well in his short time heading the talent acquisition department.

I just think this was not the solution to the problem.  If anyone should have been fired it was Hue.  Sashi has put the organization in a spot to succeed.  He built up draft capital to an absurd degree.  The Browns will have 5 seasons worth of drafts in the next three drafts.  Not to mention the boat load of young players already picked.  The team is young, raw, and inexperienced.  But, they 100% should be able to win some games.  They aren’t being coached properly, and it shows week to week.   The public discord  between the two sides obviously took a tole on the team as well.   Two weeks ago in Cincinnati a picture was taken that sealed the nail in Sashi’s coffin.  Haslam and Hue swapping spit with A.J. McCarron, after the failed trade.

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On to the new regime!  Dilly Dilly!!

0 and Whatever. Week Who Cares?

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Going to be a short one this week, as I wasn’t able to catch the whole game.  The Browns lost again this week.   Cleveland traveled to Los Angeles for their scheduled loss.  Last season on Christmas Eve, the Browns managed to shit out a win against the Chargers.  They were not as lucky this year.

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There really isn’t much to write about when it comes to this game, but I will reluctantly give you an update as best I can.  The Browns defense certainly came to play on Sunday, as they held the Chargers to 0 first quarter points.  The Chargers added two field goals in the second quarter to make it 6-0.

The Browns rallied, and Kizer lead a 65 yard touchdown drive in 5 plays.  David Njoku caught a 28 yard pass for the score.  Hey!  A lead!  With the extra-point, the Browns lead 7-6.  It did not last long, as Philip Rivers lead an 11 play drive into field goal range.  Ex-Brown Travis Coons hit a 22 yard field goal to help the Chargers re-gain a 9-7 lead.

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The second half was a snoozer.  Keenan Allen caught a 7 yard touchdown pass, and Travis Coons added another field goal to make it 19-7.  The Browns could only muster another field goal.  The game ended with the limp dick score of 19-10.


5 Positives:

  1. Josh Gordon came back and was fantastic.  Josh lead the team with 4 catches for 85 yards.  He wasn’t necessarily dominant, but he looked every bit as good as he was before.  It will take some time to knock the rust off, but he looked fantastic.
  2. Defense is DOMINANT.  They can stop any offense, and due to the lovely 0-12 record nobody really speaks of the Browns defense.  They held a formidable Chargers offense (Melvin Gordon, Keenan Allen, Antonio Gates, Travis Benjamin) to only 19 points.  If there was any pulse on offense they might have a few wins.
  3. Only 4 more weeks until this season is over.
  4. Only 4 more weeks until Hue Jackson is fired.
  5. David Njoku had his best day as a pro.  Having Gordon lead to more open looks for Njoku, and he certainly capitalized.  Njoku was able to haul in the Browns only touchdown pass of the day.

Next week the Browns will welcome Brett Hundley, and the Greenbay Packers to town.  I’d love a thank you in advance from Packer fans.  Looks like my beloved Brownies will be instrumental in keeping their playoff hopes on life support.


I am going to end it here with some highlights of Josh Gordon’s 2018 sober debut.  Enjoy!

Week 14 Top 10 Power Rankings

With 3 quarters of the season in the books, the good teams are starting to separate themselves from the pack. We’re going to highlight the top 10 teams and who will be contenders in the playoffs that are fast approaching.

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  1.  New England Patriots (10-2)

The Patriots are back and doing the same thing they always do.  They started off slow and the defense was looking bad — now they can’t lose and opponents have failed to score more than 17 points in 8 straight games. Dion Lewis is back to form and Tom Brady is well…Tom Brady. Hard to see this Patriots team losing in the AFC playoffs.

Image result for minnesota vikings2. Minnesota Vikings (10-2)

The Vikings being in first place in Week 14 after losing both their starting QB and RB is about as improbable as the way Case Keenum is playing but we have arrived here. The Vikings have looked to be unstoppable and slotted in the #1 seed in the NFC after the Eagles’ loss. This team is for real and has the potential to never leave Minnesota during the playoffs — even the Super Bowl.

Image result for philadelphia eagles3. Philadelphia Eagles (10-2)

The Eagles have been beneficiaries of an easy schedule but have came out and took care of business. A road game in Seattle in the month of December is a very difficult but the Eagles got exposed a bit as they were outplayed in every asset of the game. I’m sure this team will bounce back but for now they’re going to have to accept that the playoffs may not run through the Linc.

4. New Orleans Saints (9-3)Image result for new orleans saints

The Saints check in at 4 after an impressive season sweep against Cam Newton and the Panthers. The Saints are firmly in control of their division race but they still have two matchups left with rival Atlanta Falcons. If the Saints win at least one, it’s hard to see them not on top of the NFC South when the dust is settled.


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5. Pittsburgh Steelers (10-2) 

The Steelers round out the top 5 after a tough AFC North Monday night game against the Bengals. The Steelers sport the same top record as the top 3 but they have been shaky in recent weeks, barely beating the Bengals, Packers, and Colts. This team does keep winning but the injury to Shazier is a huge blow. The Steelers-Patriots showdown in two weeks will decide home field advantage.

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6. Los Angeles Rams (9-3) 

The Rams clinched their first winning season since 2003 with the win over the Cardinals this weekend. Sean McVay has done a tremendous job turning around this team but it’ll be interesting to see how their offense performs when the playoffs are on the line. This is the same team that was only able to put up 7 on the Vikings.

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7. Jacksonville Jaguars (8-4) 

Nobody is scared of Jacksonville’s offense but their defense is scary good. Calais Campbell just broke the franchise sack record .. in week 13. This team is definitely on the rise and probably will not be able to beat the AFC top contenders. Still fun to watch and deserving of the #7 spot.

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8. Seattle Seahawks (8-4) 

Speaking of defenses — the Seahawks check in right behind the Jaguars ahead of a showdown this weekend. The Seahawks, despite huge losses of Sherman and Chancellor are still ball-hawks on defense. Russell Wilson is having a MVP caliber season and they may have found their running back in Mike Davis. Watch out for the Seahawks in January.

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9. Carolina Panthers (8-4) 

The Panthers had a let-down game in which one that they could have made a solid statement in the NFC playoff run. They are however still in prime control of the first wildcard spot and with Cam Newton at the helm — anything can happen. Lack of receiving depth is going to hurt them but the return of Greg Olsen can definitely boost this team to dangerous.

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10. Baltimore Ravens (7-5) 

The Ravens are very quietly having a solid season in Baltimore. The defense has pitched 3 shutouts and made the Lions offense look foolish. The season-ending injury to CB Jimmy Smith definitely hurts but nobody should want to play against Joe Flacco in January. The Ravens have a Sunday night showdown against bitter rival Pittsburgh this week which will say a lot about where they’re at.


JUST MISSED: Tennessee Titans (8-4), Atlanta Falcons (7-5), Los Angeles Chargers (6-6)

Giants Fire Ben McAdoo

Well good riddance — how it took this long for the Giants organization to realize that McAdoo needs to be fired was ridiculous. The Giants organization deserves every bit of the storm that is going to come to them. Granted, the Giants have not fired a coach mid-season in over 40 years — so kudos to them for breaking that streak with the worst possible hire that they could replace Coughlin with. Geno Smith, of course, fell flat on his face and Eli’s streak was ruined for absolutely no reason.

McAdoo was hailed as a good hire and did make the playoffs at 11-5 last year but this year has been a complete trainwreck, with the Giants sitting at 2-10. The Giants made the right decision here, albeit a bit too late. The only thing McAdoo will be remembered for is benching Manning.


Looks like the Giants are cleaning house — can’t blame them. Reese has done a horrendous job at the helm of this team. The Giants haven’t had a running back worth notice since Brandon Jacobs — and that’s saying something.

Expect the Giants to be bad for quite some time now. Wouldn’t surprise me if Eli left next year and if Odell leaves as soon as he can as well.





Joe Flacco “Eating the W” After the Game

The Ravens won a big game on Sunday, beating down the Lions 44-20. Though the defense has done most of the work, everybody’s favorite elite QB has quietly been having a decent season. Flacco threw for 269 yards and 2 TDs to move into 7-5, bolstering their hold on that second wild card spot.

The clip of the game, and maybe the season however was Joe Flacco post-game. Let’s take a look.


Cool Joe is eating the W today! Legendary stuff from Flacco, alluding to Winston’s infamous speech made earlier this season. This would be funny if anybody this season did it, and Joe Flacco is probably at the bottom of the list of people who I would expect to do this. I’m officially scared of January Joe and the Ravens once again.

Belichick’s Reactions to TDs are Prime Belichick

Belichick was mic’d up for the game against the Dolphins and from that we were able to retrieve this gem. This is as Belichick as it gets — divisional rival game and he couldn’t care less about any of the touchdowns. Doesn’t even crack a smile, not even a slight fist bump. There is no schtick with Belichick, this is exactly how the guy is and is why he has been the most successful NFL coach. He’s never satisfied until the whistle blows on a Super Bowl victory. Unless of course it’s regarding special teams…

Nothing gets Bill going like a nice debate about punt protectors. Onto Buffalo.

The Browns Found A Way to Win Today


Andddddddddddddddd it moved.  Seriously though.  All along there was always this notion that it was too good to be true.  This was an annual thing, I had seen it before.  Josh Gordon post rehab, clear mind, clear blood stream.  It was always for not.  Generally ending in an indefinite suspension.  Last week, when Hue Jackson announced Josh was on course to practice on 11/22, I almost didn’t believe him.  The mentality I took each year was let me see it, and I’ll believe it.  Well today, my wish was granted.  Josh returned to the practice field for the first time since training camp in 2015-16.  All I needed was visual confirmation.

Hard to really judge what kind of shape he’s in considering I’m a disgusting slob, but that looked pretty good! Seems to be the general reaction from the team after today.  Hue Jackson was quoted in saying, ” He’s something.  It was a good first day….”.  The sounds coming from the media, and coaches echo what I have been saying about this guy.  Dude is a natural talent.  The rumblings from the beat writers that troll this team are that Josh was easily the best receiver on the field in practice.  It’s just practice but, my god am I excited to have a real offensive weapon to watch!!

Say what you want, but today was a win for the Browns.  They get a guy back who could be a massive difference maker.  Hopefully Josh is the spark the offense needs.  Josh coming back should take some pressure off Kizer in the 5 or so games he is eligible to play.  He forces defenses to devote extra man power in stopping him, leading to other wide receivers being open, or more opportunities to run the ball.

Josh is eligible to play in his first game next week against the San Diego Chargers.  The remaining schedule looks like so:


Week 13:  @

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Week 14: 

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Week 15: 

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Week 16:  @

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Week 17: @

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It’s so great to have Josh back for the playoff push.  You heard me:

In all seriousness, this is not the easiest slate of games especially since we suck.  Hopefully Josh can help bring us a few wins.  We’re getting into, “JUST ONE WIN PLEASE” territory.  I’ll say Josh brings the Browns 3 wins.  Gordon, Coleman, Duke, Crowell, Njoku, Devalve is a unit of skilled offensive players that should be able to win 1 or 2.  Lets get rolling.

Welcome back Josh!!!!!!!

The Case for 19-0

Fresh off a historic comeback in Super Bowl LI, the New England Patriots are storming into the 2017-2018 season with key acquisitions on both sides of the ball. Though raising some eyebrows with all these seemingly “win-now” pick-ups, the Patriots know their window with Tom Brady at the helm are dwindling down.

Let’s take a look at the key games on the schedule:

Continue reading The Case for 19-0