NFL

Football Sucks

Image result for Browns vs. Packers 2017

I can’t even believe I am writing this blog to be completely honest.  Not because the Browns managed to lose their 28th game in 29 chances this past Sunday.  I’ve been watching the Browns for almost 25 years.  Probably closer to 20, but that’s neither here nor there.  This past weekend was just the worst loss.  There have been some historically laughable ways to lose, but this one takes the cake.

Image result for Packers beat Browns

The game started out with the Packers marching down the field, and Hundley hitting Jaamal Williams, who was wide the fuck open for a touchdown.  Browns rookie signal-caller, DeShone Kizer, led the Browns on a 7 play, 84 yard drive ending in six.  Kizer hit a leaping Josh Gordon for an 18 yard touchdown.

Image result for josh gordon sunglasses

The game would remain 7-7 through the end of the first quarter.  In the second, Kizer hit Duke Johnson for a 7 yard touchdown.  The Browns had taken a 7 point lead!  Well I’ll be!  Later on in the third quarter, Kizer hit Corey Coleman on a quick slant for a 2 yard touchdown.  Holy shit!  A two possession lead now!  The score moved to 21-7 Browns.  Was this the day?

Image result for Corey Coleman packers

You obviously know the answer by now, huh?  Well, if you don’t let me enlighten you.  The Browns fucking choked.  AGAIN.  The Browns were playing sound football in all three phases of the game.  They were playing good defense, stretching the field passing the ball, and running for almost 7 yards a pop.  The second the score hit 21-7 all of that stopped.   Hundley lead a 13 play, 75 yard drive ending in a Jaamal Williams 1 yard touchdown run.  The Browns of course went 3 and out on their next possession, giving the Packers the ball back with 3 min to play.  The punt would be returned into Browns territory after all 11 Browns broke from their rush lanes.  Hundley then marched the Cheeseheads only 25 yards on 7 plays ending in a Davante Adams 1 yard tying touchdown.

The Browns managed to win the coin-toss in overtime, but DeShone Kizer decided he’d rather throw the game away.  Literally.  On 3rd and long, close to mid-field, Kizer was in the grasp of a sack,  and decided he would hurl the ball high in the air.  Can of corn for the defense.  I mean you could get on a knee and propose to the ball it was thrown so high.  There wasn’t a Brown in the same zip code.  Obviously this interception lead to the Packers taking home the W, and keeping their playoff hopes alive.

5 Positives:

  1. Josh Gordon scored in his home debut.  Looked like an asshole in sunglasses though.
  2. Defense, Defense, Defense.  It is still the major strength of this team.  They can stop anyone, anytime (except in the fourth quarter with time running out, or in overtime)
  3. Isiah Crowell rushed for over 100 yards for the first time all season.  Makes sense why they stopped giving him the ball in the second half right?
  4. Only three more games left of this horrible, miserable, terrible, no good, very bad season.
  5. It’s almost Christmas, and you know that means Angry Browns Fans Christmas carols:

Let me first say DeShone Kizer, GET THE FUCK OFF MY TEAM.  What a horrendous decision to throw the ball there.  How does he think that’s ok?  Seriously? He’s without a doubt the least intelligent quarterback  in the NFL to date.  Kizer’s miscue is another reflection on coaching.  Before he even makes that throw, he should know that he should 1. throw the ball away, or 2. get the fuck down.  That is a reflection on Hue Jackson if Kizer thinks its cool to wing it.  Jackson’s tenure can’t end soon enough.  What a miserable fucking coach.  Fuck Hue Jackson.

The rest of the way will likely be win-less.  It’s a feeling I don’t wish on fans of my biggest rival.  Each week being hopeful they will pull it together for 60 minutes to just win one.  Some teams get pissed if their team misses the playoffs, or loses a playoff game.  I just want the Browns to win one fucking game.  That is all.

The Browns have the Steelers, Ravens, and Bears to finish off 2018.  I hope that somehow, someway they get their ducks in a row just ONE FUCKING TIME.  It just looks like a win is not in the cards.  The Browns will finish 0-16 this year, and Browns need to send up some prayers that after 18 years 0-16 is finally rock bottom.

Image result for Browns 0-16

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