With All Due Respect to Joe Thomas, I don’t Want to Hear It.

Let me start this out by saying, I absolutely love Joe Thomas. When your team sucks so bad for 20 years running, you learn to watch-out for the positives. Joe is a positive week-in-week out. He dominates defensive ends, and outside backers with ease. Those two positions now have some of the most athletic players in the league too. Joe stones them all. He’s easily a top 5 left tackle of all time. Only two I can see ahead of him are Orlando Brown, and John Hannah. He’s right up there.

When I saw his quote today I almost threw up. I certainly appreciate some optimism on the brink of owensixteen, but “Set up for a long run”? Oh give me a break. It’s these quotes that annoy the absolute snot out of me. Let’s focus on winning a game first, and let’s acknowledge the fact that this is the worst team in NFL history. Being forthright about it might actually get you somewhere. Let’s say, “We fucking STINK, and are going to do X,Y,Z to fix it”. After that, shut your fucking mouths until training camp. I am sick of the sunshine and rainbows. It’s not what I see on the field each week that’s for damn sure.

Similarly, John Dorsey said in his introductory presser, “Let’s awake this sleeping giant”. Shut the fuck up dude. Stop trying to tell me a polished shit isn’t a turd.

Joe also made it known he wasn’t sure what his future would look like. He was undecided about coming back. I certainly don’t blame him. I’d be devastated if he left, but he deserves to play for a winner. I would be more devastated if he retired, so here’s to Joe coming back for a few more kicks at the can. What he said annoyed me, but I love the guy.

Whatever happens in the future, this is going to be a tough weekend for Browns fans out there. It feels like I’m waiting to be taken to the gallows. I hope the Steelers make it quick and painless. If it’s close it will only be worse. Just 48 more hours, and it’s over. Go turds!

Johnny Manziel Approved for CFL Contract

 

The CFL has just found the key to getting people to watch and it comes in the form of Johnny Manziel. Is 2018 the year of Johnny Manziel? Probably not — but I’m still excited. With talks of the XFL returning, I was fully on-board with the idea of Manziel going to the league but the CFL announced that he was cleared after their investigation.

“Since last summer, the Canadian Football League has been engaged in a thorough process to determine the eligibility of Johnny Manziel. This process has been conducted with the cooperation of Mr. Manziel and independent of the team which currently holds his CFL rights, the Hamilton Tiger-Cats.

It has included an ongoing assessment by an independent expert on the issue of violence against women, a review by legal counsel, and an in-person interview of Mr. Manziel conducted by the Commissioner. As well, Mr. Manziel has been required to meet a number of conditions set by the league.

As a result of this process, the Commissioner has now informed Mr. Manziel and the Tiger-Cats he is prepared to approve a contract for Mr. Manziel should one be negotiated.

The process that led to this decision does, however, continue. Mr. Manziel has been informed he must continue to meet a number of conditions in order to remain eligible. These conditions, while extensive and exacting, remain confidential.”

It’d be nice to see Johnny Poutine Football to get his act together and finally get back on a football field. The big question is what kind of shape is he in because the pictures we’ve last seen of him are ROUGH.

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Let’s hope he’s got back in some kind of shape so we can actually see a comeback attempt. He wasn’t horrendous for the Browns outside of one game so this may open a comeback for the NFL if teams see he’s actually straightened out. His rights are owned by the Hamilton Tiger-Cats. They now have until January 7 to sign him otherwise he becomes a free agent. I’m sure he’ll have to pass some drug tests before he starts playing but 2018 could be Johnny’s year.

Get a Load of This Piece of Shit!

I’ll make this quick.  I saw this this afternoon while anxiously awaiting to jump out the window due to boredom. Now I am trying to jump out due to embarrassment.  Each passing day the Browns do something to top themselves, and this stunt by this piece of shit Coach is no different.

Just when I said yesterday I hope that 0-16 is rock bottom.  They go and find a way to dig a little deeper. Bunch of pricks. This guy makes my blood boil, I don’t think I’ve ever hated a professional sports figure more than Hue Jackson.

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Lets take a brief look at what this pompous piece of shit had the balls to say last season:

“We can’t do that. We are not going to do that. We can stop right there. I’m not doing that. We are not going 1-15 or I’ll be swimming in the lake over there somewhere. I know me too well. I know me and I know these guys too well. We put out this front that where we are. We are not going 1-15 next year. You can write it if you’d like. Hue Jackson said it. We are not. That’s the way it is.”

Fast-forward one yea later, per Mary Kay Cabot, of Cleveland.com:

“Heck ya I’ve got to do it” about jumping in the lake. Says he will do it for the Hue Jackson Foundation, hopes a lot of people come out for it”

……He hopes people come out for it?  You know what Hue?  Go fuck yourself.  Seriously, what a pompous prick.  “Oh look at how safe my job is!”  “Wee!!!” Lets pray that he 1. can’t swim, 2. the lake is filled with battery acid. He seems so overly cocky about being employed next year, it makes me sick. I wish this man nothing but the worst. He’s awfully arrogant for the worst Head Coach in NFL History.

@Browns, MAKE IT STOP.  Fire this clown.

Browns Lose to Bears. Will Go 0-16.

Numb. I’m simply numb. The Browns traveled to the Windy City on Christmas Eve, hoping to capture their first win of 2017. They left defeated 20-3. They lost to a fucking shit Bears team, and it looked as if they were playing a Super Bowl contender. A 3 win team looked miles ahead of the beleaguered Browns.

There’s really no point in breaking down the game, stats, or anything similar. It’s over. They looked like dog shit. This next week the Browns will travel to Pittsburgh to take on the Steelers. This past game against Chicago was our last hope, and it was stomped on.

They did however, fall ass-backwards into the first overall draft pick this year. Hooray? Some fans would be excited to have the chance to draft so high, and potentially find a franchise player whether it’d be a Quarterback, elite Pass Rusher, or a skilled receiver.

I hate it. The first overall pick absolutely sucks. 0-16 is even more gut wrenching. The Browns also hold a second top 5 pick thanks to the Deshaun Watson trade with Houston. A sad, sad consolation prize.

@Browns just make it stop please!!! Some teams hope for playoff births, playoff bye’s, or Super Bowl runs. I just wanted one lousy god-damn win. They simply could not get it done in 2017. Let’s just pray to the Football gods that 0-16 is FINALLY rock bottom. You know it’s bad when you’d gladly sacrifice a limb for more points than the other team when the clock hits 0:00.

They’ve sucked since ’99, and fans like myself always thought, “It can’t get worse, can it?”. Well, it always got worse. From Brady Quinn, to Colt McCoy. Butch Davis, to Eric Mangini. Johnny Manziel and Justin Gilbert, and many more names. It always got worse without fail. Maybe this time is the charm? I sure hope so. Who the fuck knows, 1. who we’ll pick, and 2. if pick would even want to play for the Browns?

So, tune in on New Years Eve to witness some history! The Browns will turn their head, and cough for the Super Bowl primed Steelers, at Heinz Field. Browns fans, brace yourself for memes, losing statistics, and retread jokes. It’s going to be really hard for me to come back from a black mark like 0-16, but I’ll never fully give up hope.

Part of what makes being a Browns fan fun, is thinking about how awesome it would be if the ever managed to be good. I reckon it’d be the best feeling sports could offer (besides Big Z hoisting Lord Stanley of course). Hang in there Browns fans, only one week of hell left.

For the last time in 2017, let’s go Brownies!

Browns Lose, Browns Lose, Browns Lose

 

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Week 15 has come and gone in the NFL, and the Cleveland Browns have lost another Football game.  I have be re-iterating all year that they are losing winnable games.  This past Sunday was not winnable.  The Baltimore Ravens traveled to Cleveland, and bent the Browns over.

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DeShone Kizer accounted for 3 total turnovers on the day.  2 interceptions, and 1 fumble.  The game started off tame enough with the Ravens opening up the scoring with a Justin Tucker 31 yard field goal.  Duke Johnson answered for the Browns with a 12 yard touchdown run off tackle.  The Browns were winning 7-3.

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The Ravens rattled off two touchdown drives in a row to answer.   A 2 yard Joe Flacco run, and a 33 yard Ben Watson catch.  Just before the second  quarter ended, Zane Gonzalez added a field goal to make it 17-10 Ravens at the half.  This would be a close as it ever came.  The Ravens added another touchdown and field goal in the second half to make it 27-10.

 

 

5 Positives:

  1. The Browns Ran the ball well, amassing 130 yards from Crowell, Johnson, and Kizer.  This bodes well for them in these next two games.  Running the ball is absolutely vital to getting a win.
  2. The Defense did not play as well as they had in the past, but they still kept the Browns within earshot.  While this season has been absolutely miserable, it’s good to know some aspects of the team are headed in the right direction.
  3. Only two more weeks left.
  4. Marvin Lewis will step down as Head Coach of the Cincinnati Bengals.  Hue Jackson’s days are numbered, as it is being reported that Hue is wanted back in Cincy.  Good luck assholes.
  5. This week is Super Bowl Week (Explain in a bit)

 

^ I think it moved?

Well, here we are Browns fans.  One last week coming up to get a win.  My beloved Brownies head into Chicago to face the 4-10 Bears.  This is it.  This likely the last shot the 2017-2018 Cleveland Browns will have at winning a football game.  While the public will be taking a collective dump over both teams, especially the Browns, this game is one of the more important game for me in some years.  Just win a fucking game.  The prospect of 0-16 is fucking miserable.  I do not wish it on fans of my biggest rival.  Time for Hue Jackson to shut his fucking pie hole, and coach this team up for a win.  I need this one more than any other football game, because 0-16 is something that will be nearly impossible to come back from.   Something’s gotta give, right?

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As always, Go Browns!!

Football Sucks

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I can’t even believe I am writing this blog to be completely honest.  Not because the Browns managed to lose their 28th game in 29 chances this past Sunday.  I’ve been watching the Browns for almost 25 years.  Probably closer to 20, but that’s neither here nor there.  This past weekend was just the worst loss.  There have been some historically laughable ways to lose, but this one takes the cake.

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The game started out with the Packers marching down the field, and Hundley hitting Jaamal Williams, who was wide the fuck open for a touchdown.  Browns rookie signal-caller, DeShone Kizer, led the Browns on a 7 play, 84 yard drive ending in six.  Kizer hit a leaping Josh Gordon for an 18 yard touchdown.

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The game would remain 7-7 through the end of the first quarter.  In the second, Kizer hit Duke Johnson for a 7 yard touchdown.  The Browns had taken a 7 point lead!  Well I’ll be!  Later on in the third quarter, Kizer hit Corey Coleman on a quick slant for a 2 yard touchdown.  Holy shit!  A two possession lead now!  The score moved to 21-7 Browns.  Was this the day?

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You obviously know the answer by now, huh?  Well, if you don’t let me enlighten you.  The Browns fucking choked.  AGAIN.  The Browns were playing sound football in all three phases of the game.  They were playing good defense, stretching the field passing the ball, and running for almost 7 yards a pop.  The second the score hit 21-7 all of that stopped.   Hundley lead a 13 play, 75 yard drive ending in a Jaamal Williams 1 yard touchdown run.  The Browns of course went 3 and out on their next possession, giving the Packers the ball back with 3 min to play.  The punt would be returned into Browns territory after all 11 Browns broke from their rush lanes.  Hundley then marched the Cheeseheads only 25 yards on 7 plays ending in a Davante Adams 1 yard tying touchdown.

The Browns managed to win the coin-toss in overtime, but DeShone Kizer decided he’d rather throw the game away.  Literally.  On 3rd and long, close to mid-field, Kizer was in the grasp of a sack,  and decided he would hurl the ball high in the air.  Can of corn for the defense.  I mean you could get on a knee and propose to the ball it was thrown so high.  There wasn’t a Brown in the same zip code.  Obviously this interception lead to the Packers taking home the W, and keeping their playoff hopes alive.

5 Positives:

  1. Josh Gordon scored in his home debut.  Looked like an asshole in sunglasses though.
  2. Defense, Defense, Defense.  It is still the major strength of this team.  They can stop anyone, anytime (except in the fourth quarter with time running out, or in overtime)
  3. Isiah Crowell rushed for over 100 yards for the first time all season.  Makes sense why they stopped giving him the ball in the second half right?
  4. Only three more games left of this horrible, miserable, terrible, no good, very bad season.
  5. It’s almost Christmas, and you know that means Angry Browns Fans Christmas carols:

Let me first say DeShone Kizer, GET THE FUCK OFF MY TEAM.  What a horrendous decision to throw the ball there.  How does he think that’s ok?  Seriously? He’s without a doubt the least intelligent quarterback  in the NFL to date.  Kizer’s miscue is another reflection on coaching.  Before he even makes that throw, he should know that he should 1. throw the ball away, or 2. get the fuck down.  That is a reflection on Hue Jackson if Kizer thinks its cool to wing it.  Jackson’s tenure can’t end soon enough.  What a miserable fucking coach.  Fuck Hue Jackson.

The rest of the way will likely be win-less.  It’s a feeling I don’t wish on fans of my biggest rival.  Each week being hopeful they will pull it together for 60 minutes to just win one.  Some teams get pissed if their team misses the playoffs, or loses a playoff game.  I just want the Browns to win one fucking game.  That is all.

The Browns have the Steelers, Ravens, and Bears to finish off 2018.  I hope that somehow, someway they get their ducks in a row just ONE FUCKING TIME.  It just looks like a win is not in the cards.  The Browns will finish 0-16 this year, and Browns need to send up some prayers that after 18 years 0-16 is finally rock bottom.

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Cleveland Browns Relieve Director of Player Personnel (GM), Sashi Brown.

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There it is Browns fans!  We are officially in Step 1 of the Bi-annual firing spree in Berea, Ohio.  The move comes with very little surprise.  Sashi Brown was the architect of a 1-27 football team.  Something had to give sooner or later.  Hue seems to have lobbied his way to winning the power struggle between the front office and coaches.    Hue’s main gripe was that the Front Office did not provide him with the players needed to win.  I couldn’t disagree more.

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In the end, I think the quarterback position was Sashi’s eventual downfall.  They piddled around hoping that lower value picks (Kessler, Kizer) would boom big.  Neither are a total bust, as both have shown that they could play in the right situation.  The kicker is Wentz, Goff, and Watson.  At some point in the last two drafts, Sashi had a chance to pick any of those three.  Goff doesn’t technically count, as the Rams traded up to #1 overall to take him.  There is no excuse for the others.  They did not believe Wentz was a top 20 quarterback.  He will likely be an MVP finalist this year.  They didn’t love the lack of arm strength in Deshaun Watson.  If Watson stays healthy, I have little doubt he would be the Offensive Rookie of the Year in the AFC.

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Personally, I have the gut feeling that they are cutting the chord too early.  Sashi had some blunders in his two years at the helm that’s for damn sure.  He let Taylor Gabriel walk, he let Mitchell Schwartz walk, he let Tashaun Gipson walk, he cut Joe Haden, and many more.  All of those pieces would help this team drastically (minus Haden).  Sashi traded veteran linebacker Demario Davis to the Jets for Safety Calvin Pryor.  Pryor is currently on the Jaguars practice squad, while Davis is playing every snap on defense for the Jets.  There are some obvious blunders which any executive will make.  Even with those blunders,Sashi did well in his short time heading the talent acquisition department.

I just think this was not the solution to the problem.  If anyone should have been fired it was Hue.  Sashi has put the organization in a spot to succeed.  He built up draft capital to an absurd degree.  The Browns will have 5 seasons worth of drafts in the next three drafts.  Not to mention the boat load of young players already picked.  The team is young, raw, and inexperienced.  But, they 100% should be able to win some games.  They aren’t being coached properly, and it shows week to week.   The public discord  between the two sides obviously took a tole on the team as well.   Two weeks ago in Cincinnati a picture was taken that sealed the nail in Sashi’s coffin.  Haslam and Hue swapping spit with A.J. McCarron, after the failed trade.

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On to the new regime!  Dilly Dilly!!

0 and Whatever. Week Who Cares?

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Going to be a short one this week, as I wasn’t able to catch the whole game.  The Browns lost again this week.   Cleveland traveled to Los Angeles for their scheduled loss.  Last season on Christmas Eve, the Browns managed to shit out a win against the Chargers.  They were not as lucky this year.

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There really isn’t much to write about when it comes to this game, but I will reluctantly give you an update as best I can.  The Browns defense certainly came to play on Sunday, as they held the Chargers to 0 first quarter points.  The Chargers added two field goals in the second quarter to make it 6-0.

The Browns rallied, and Kizer lead a 65 yard touchdown drive in 5 plays.  David Njoku caught a 28 yard pass for the score.  Hey!  A lead!  With the extra-point, the Browns lead 7-6.  It did not last long, as Philip Rivers lead an 11 play drive into field goal range.  Ex-Brown Travis Coons hit a 22 yard field goal to help the Chargers re-gain a 9-7 lead.

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The second half was a snoozer.  Keenan Allen caught a 7 yard touchdown pass, and Travis Coons added another field goal to make it 19-7.  The Browns could only muster another field goal.  The game ended with the limp dick score of 19-10.

 

5 Positives:

  1. Josh Gordon came back and was fantastic.  Josh lead the team with 4 catches for 85 yards.  He wasn’t necessarily dominant, but he looked every bit as good as he was before.  It will take some time to knock the rust off, but he looked fantastic.
  2. Defense is DOMINANT.  They can stop any offense, and due to the lovely 0-12 record nobody really speaks of the Browns defense.  They held a formidable Chargers offense (Melvin Gordon, Keenan Allen, Antonio Gates, Travis Benjamin) to only 19 points.  If there was any pulse on offense they might have a few wins.
  3. Only 4 more weeks until this season is over.
  4. Only 4 more weeks until Hue Jackson is fired.
  5. David Njoku had his best day as a pro.  Having Gordon lead to more open looks for Njoku, and he certainly capitalized.  Njoku was able to haul in the Browns only touchdown pass of the day.

Next week the Browns will welcome Brett Hundley, and the Greenbay Packers to town.  I’d love a thank you in advance from Packer fans.  Looks like my beloved Brownies will be instrumental in keeping their playoff hopes on life support.

 

I am going to end it here with some highlights of Josh Gordon’s 2018 sober debut.  Enjoy!

https://twitter.com/TheFBBible/status/938136402511978496

The Browns Found A Way to Win Today

 

Andddddddddddddddd it moved.  Seriously though.  All along there was always this notion that it was too good to be true.  This was an annual thing, I had seen it before.  Josh Gordon post rehab, clear mind, clear blood stream.  It was always for not.  Generally ending in an indefinite suspension.  Last week, when Hue Jackson announced Josh was on course to practice on 11/22, I almost didn’t believe him.  The mentality I took each year was let me see it, and I’ll believe it.  Well today, my wish was granted.  Josh returned to the practice field for the first time since training camp in 2015-16.  All I needed was visual confirmation.

Hard to really judge what kind of shape he’s in considering I’m a disgusting slob, but that looked pretty good! Seems to be the general reaction from the team after today.  Hue Jackson was quoted in saying, ” He’s something.  It was a good first day….”.  The sounds coming from the media, and coaches echo what I have been saying about this guy.  Dude is a natural talent.  The rumblings from the beat writers that troll this team are that Josh was easily the best receiver on the field in practice.  It’s just practice but, my god am I excited to have a real offensive weapon to watch!!

Say what you want, but today was a win for the Browns.  They get a guy back who could be a massive difference maker.  Hopefully Josh is the spark the offense needs.  Josh coming back should take some pressure off Kizer in the 5 or so games he is eligible to play.  He forces defenses to devote extra man power in stopping him, leading to other wide receivers being open, or more opportunities to run the ball.

Josh is eligible to play in his first game next week against the San Diego Chargers.  The remaining schedule looks like so:

 

Week 13:  @

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Week 14: 

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Week 15: 

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Week 16:  @

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Week 17: @

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It’s so great to have Josh back for the playoff push.  You heard me:

In all seriousness, this is not the easiest slate of games especially since we suck.  Hopefully Josh can help bring us a few wins.  We’re getting into, “JUST ONE WIN PLEASE” territory.  I’ll say Josh brings the Browns 3 wins.  Gordon, Coleman, Duke, Crowell, Njoku, Devalve is a unit of skilled offensive players that should be able to win 1 or 2.  Lets get rolling.

Welcome back Josh!!!!!!!

Holy Shit, This Really Sucks!

Oh dear lord.  I can’t really tell if I have a gut feeling, or reaction to this news.  I’m numb at this point.  La Canfora Reports, “Browns owner Jimmy Haslam’s interest in having Peyton Manning join his franchise in a prominent team president/top executive role is very strong and sincere, league sources said, with the owner desperate to find ways to put a winning football operations and coaching staff together. The Browns are winless this season and have just one victory since the start of the 2016 season, when coach Hue Jackson was paired with general manager Sashi Brown, and Haslam is hoping his long relationship with Manning can lead him to Cleveland.”

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I think I should probably be excited by this potential move, but I’m not.  I’m more or less thinking of ways it would fail.  A lot of the time, the ol’ player turned front office executive fails miserably no matter the franchise.  Peyton would certainly bring a healthy resume on the field, but it’s as an executive that he’s done absolutely nothing.  That worries me.  I would hope that Peyton would not be diving head first into GM duties.  I would feel more comfortable with him as “Director of Football Operations”, or some other bull shit label.   Give him a position where he has input on personnel decisions.  I have zero doubt in my my mind that Manning knows what it takes to win, and the qualities winning teams need to possess.  His input would be extremely beneficial.  As long as he wouldn’t have final say on roster decisions.

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Last week, it was Mike Singletary coming into Cleveland with interview binders and now we got the goober Peyton himself rumored to be on his way.  It’s well known that Browns Owner, Jimmy Haslam is a prominent booster for the University of Tennesse.  While his relationship goes way ack, and brings some validity to this rumor, I think there is less than zero percent chance he would come here.  I would feel so much better about the QB, but this just seems so outlandish.  I doubt Peyton is going to leave his cushy advertisement gigs, to have his named tarnished in Turd Brown.

 

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