0-16.

0-16.  Oh and fucking sixteen.  This past Sunday was the worst Sports related event in my lifetime.  What happened is exactly what I did NOT want to happen.  The Browns played the Steelers hard, as Brown, Bell, and Ben did not suit up.  The Browns were driving late in the 4th quarter to take the lead.  It was 28-24 Steelers with under 2 minutes left to play.  Kizer was leading a march into Steeler territory, where they found themselves a 4th and 2 from the Pittsburgh 27.  After a timeout the Browns shockingly drew up a play that left Corey Coleman WIDE OPEN for an easy first down, and probably a touchdown.  The ball went right through his hands ending the game.

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Again, not much to analyze.  They lost.  Again.  You try to prepare for 0-16, but never really can.  The pain, anger, and sadness felt once the game was over just can’t compare to anything I’ve felt sports.  I hope to look at back at this season one day, and be able to smile.  I highly doubt it I’m afraid.  The Browns secured the #1 overall, pick and #4 overall pick with a Texans loss on Sunday.  Great!  There isn’t a QB worth my morning shit coming out of College.  Great, just fucking great.  They’re going to pick some bag of milk like Sam Darnold, Josh Rosen, or Josh Allen (? No idea if that’s even his name). Anyone watch Darnold on Saturday? WOOF.

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I am not going predict who they take, or even give you some BS as to who they should take. Whoever they pick better be properly developed, and the team built around him.  Godspeed whatever poor bastard gets chosen.

Unfortunately, it looks like it will come down to Sam Darnold or Josh Rosen.  Leader in the clubhouse seems to be Sam Darnold, simply because there isn’t rumblings of him having a swollen camel toe like our man at UCLA, Josh Rosen (What a pussy).

Again, what a pussy.  Look dude, part of being drafted high is the fact that 90% of the teams suck.  It’s nothing new guy.  He apparently would prefer a more stable frachise in the New York Giants.  Yeah Josh, the Giants are a real model Franchise right now, huh?

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Despite Rosen apparently being a massive loser, he does have OK numbers:

Rosen stats.JPG

Solid enough numbers that’s for damn sure, but UCLA sucks in a garbage Conference.

Darnold has put up similar numbers:

Darnold stats.JPG

Not much there, but Darnold has 387 more passing yards than Rosen with 3 more interceptions.  Overall, the numbers are eerily similar.  There is one stat that stands out to me.  With the same exact numbers Rosen’s UCLA went 6-7 overall this season.  Darnold lead USC to 11-3. So, I guess it will come down to which player is less of a pussy?  Which ever one declares, and open about being ok with going to Cleveland will be picked.

So, everything really hinges on whether or not he will come out.  Who knows if he will.  I don’t follow College Football closely, especially Schools on the West Coast.  Hopefully does so we can take him #1 overall, and get this thing going.  If not, take some other QB (Baker Mayfield, Rosen, Allen).  Either way, no dicking around with the QB position this year.  Pick a guy, and direction for fucks sake.

Finally, to coaching.  Hue Jackson.  Wow.  I have never hated someone as much as Hue.  Hue came out, and blamed all of the players for this 0-16 campaign as par for the course.   He spews nothing but incoherent bullshit.  He even had the balls to pat himself on the back for the job he did:

Job well done Hue, you vile weed.  He couldn’t be more wrong.  Is the team bad?  Yes!  Absolutely they suck, but they are not 0-16 suck.  How many games over the past 2 years should have been won had the team had half a clue? upwards to 10.  I hope soon his players completely turn on him, and trash him in the media.  He deserves it for constantly blaming them.  The players aren’t the ones who completely ruined DeShone Kizer.  Kizer is fucking good.  He has all the tools, ability, and toughness to be a starting QB in the NFL.  Had he been coached properly, they probably win against Green Bay, Indianapolis, Pittsburgh TWICE, Jacksonville, and Detroit.   DeShone had a rough year, but he is not as bad his stats would indicate.  There were a lot of boneheaded decisions, but not all were on him.

Kizer stats

Hue refused to dial down the offense to acclimate a rookie QB.  Despite having arguably one of the worst Wide Receiving corps in league history, he’d still have Kizer chuck it up to JAG’s.  The Browns were in the top 10 in the league in passes attempted over 30 yards.  Inexcusable.  They refused to run the ball, or gave up half-way through games.

DeShone exhibited the ability to make plays with his legs this season, amassing 417 yards and 5 rushing touchdowns.  Solid.  Definitely a foundation to build on.  Poor kid was set up to fail. Say it with me again, “Fuck Hue Jackson”.  I hope they hold on to Kizer whether they go in for a Darnold/Rosen draft pick, or Cousins/Taylor free agent.

Image result for DeShone Kizer browns

It is going to one hell of an off-season for the Browns.  Over $100 million in cap space to waste, and two top 5 draft picks. We’ll see how it goes.  Hopefully they don’t, “drop the ball” 😉

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With All Due Respect to Joe Thomas, I don’t Want to Hear It.

Let me start this out by saying, I absolutely love Joe Thomas. When your team sucks so bad for 20 years running, you learn to watch-out for the positives. Joe is a positive week-in-week out. He dominates defensive ends, and outside backers with ease. Those two positions now have some of the most athletic players in the league too. Joe stones them all. He’s easily a top 5 left tackle of all time. Only two I can see ahead of him are Orlando Brown, and John Hannah. He’s right up there.

When I saw his quote today I almost threw up. I certainly appreciate some optimism on the brink of owensixteen, but “Set up for a long run”? Oh give me a break. It’s these quotes that annoy the absolute snot out of me. Let’s focus on winning a game first, and let’s acknowledge the fact that this is the worst team in NFL history. Being forthright about it might actually get you somewhere. Let’s say, “We fucking STINK, and are going to do X,Y,Z to fix it”. After that, shut your fucking mouths until training camp. I am sick of the sunshine and rainbows. It’s not what I see on the field each week that’s for damn sure.

Similarly, John Dorsey said in his introductory presser, “Let’s awake this sleeping giant”. Shut the fuck up dude. Stop trying to tell me a polished shit isn’t a turd.

Joe also made it known he wasn’t sure what his future would look like. He was undecided about coming back. I certainly don’t blame him. I’d be devastated if he left, but he deserves to play for a winner. I would be more devastated if he retired, so here’s to Joe coming back for a few more kicks at the can. What he said annoyed me, but I love the guy.

Whatever happens in the future, this is going to be a tough weekend for Browns fans out there. It feels like I’m waiting to be taken to the gallows. I hope the Steelers make it quick and painless. If it’s close it will only be worse. Just 48 more hours, and it’s over. Go turds!

Get a Load of This Piece of Shit!

I’ll make this quick.  I saw this this afternoon while anxiously awaiting to jump out the window due to boredom. Now I am trying to jump out due to embarrassment.  Each passing day the Browns do something to top themselves, and this stunt by this piece of shit Coach is no different.

Just when I said yesterday I hope that 0-16 is rock bottom.  They go and find a way to dig a little deeper. Bunch of pricks. This guy makes my blood boil, I don’t think I’ve ever hated a professional sports figure more than Hue Jackson.

Image result for Hue Jackson sucks

Lets take a brief look at what this pompous piece of shit had the balls to say last season:

“We can’t do that. We are not going to do that. We can stop right there. I’m not doing that. We are not going 1-15 or I’ll be swimming in the lake over there somewhere. I know me too well. I know me and I know these guys too well. We put out this front that where we are. We are not going 1-15 next year. You can write it if you’d like. Hue Jackson said it. We are not. That’s the way it is.”

Fast-forward one yea later, per Mary Kay Cabot, of Cleveland.com:

“Heck ya I’ve got to do it” about jumping in the lake. Says he will do it for the Hue Jackson Foundation, hopes a lot of people come out for it”

……He hopes people come out for it?  You know what Hue?  Go fuck yourself.  Seriously, what a pompous prick.  “Oh look at how safe my job is!”  “Wee!!!” Lets pray that he 1. can’t swim, 2. the lake is filled with battery acid. He seems so overly cocky about being employed next year, it makes me sick. I wish this man nothing but the worst. He’s awfully arrogant for the worst Head Coach in NFL History.

@Browns, MAKE IT STOP.  Fire this clown.

Browns Lose to Bears. Will Go 0-16.

Numb. I’m simply numb. The Browns traveled to the Windy City on Christmas Eve, hoping to capture their first win of 2017. They left defeated 20-3. They lost to a fucking shit Bears team, and it looked as if they were playing a Super Bowl contender. A 3 win team looked miles ahead of the beleaguered Browns.

There’s really no point in breaking down the game, stats, or anything similar. It’s over. They looked like dog shit. This next week the Browns will travel to Pittsburgh to take on the Steelers. This past game against Chicago was our last hope, and it was stomped on.

They did however, fall ass-backwards into the first overall draft pick this year. Hooray? Some fans would be excited to have the chance to draft so high, and potentially find a franchise player whether it’d be a Quarterback, elite Pass Rusher, or a skilled receiver.

I hate it. The first overall pick absolutely sucks. 0-16 is even more gut wrenching. The Browns also hold a second top 5 pick thanks to the Deshaun Watson trade with Houston. A sad, sad consolation prize.

@Browns just make it stop please!!! Some teams hope for playoff births, playoff bye’s, or Super Bowl runs. I just wanted one lousy god-damn win. They simply could not get it done in 2017. Let’s just pray to the Football gods that 0-16 is FINALLY rock bottom. You know it’s bad when you’d gladly sacrifice a limb for more points than the other team when the clock hits 0:00.

They’ve sucked since ’99, and fans like myself always thought, “It can’t get worse, can it?”. Well, it always got worse. From Brady Quinn, to Colt McCoy. Butch Davis, to Eric Mangini. Johnny Manziel and Justin Gilbert, and many more names. It always got worse without fail. Maybe this time is the charm? I sure hope so. Who the fuck knows, 1. who we’ll pick, and 2. if pick would even want to play for the Browns?

So, tune in on New Years Eve to witness some history! The Browns will turn their head, and cough for the Super Bowl primed Steelers, at Heinz Field. Browns fans, brace yourself for memes, losing statistics, and retread jokes. It’s going to be really hard for me to come back from a black mark like 0-16, but I’ll never fully give up hope.

Part of what makes being a Browns fan fun, is thinking about how awesome it would be if the ever managed to be good. I reckon it’d be the best feeling sports could offer (besides Big Z hoisting Lord Stanley of course). Hang in there Browns fans, only one week of hell left.

For the last time in 2017, let’s go Brownies!

Browns Lose, Browns Lose, Browns Lose

 

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Week 15 has come and gone in the NFL, and the Cleveland Browns have lost another Football game.  I have be re-iterating all year that they are losing winnable games.  This past Sunday was not winnable.  The Baltimore Ravens traveled to Cleveland, and bent the Browns over.

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DeShone Kizer accounted for 3 total turnovers on the day.  2 interceptions, and 1 fumble.  The game started off tame enough with the Ravens opening up the scoring with a Justin Tucker 31 yard field goal.  Duke Johnson answered for the Browns with a 12 yard touchdown run off tackle.  The Browns were winning 7-3.

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The Ravens rattled off two touchdown drives in a row to answer.   A 2 yard Joe Flacco run, and a 33 yard Ben Watson catch.  Just before the second  quarter ended, Zane Gonzalez added a field goal to make it 17-10 Ravens at the half.  This would be a close as it ever came.  The Ravens added another touchdown and field goal in the second half to make it 27-10.

 

 

5 Positives:

  1. The Browns Ran the ball well, amassing 130 yards from Crowell, Johnson, and Kizer.  This bodes well for them in these next two games.  Running the ball is absolutely vital to getting a win.
  2. The Defense did not play as well as they had in the past, but they still kept the Browns within earshot.  While this season has been absolutely miserable, it’s good to know some aspects of the team are headed in the right direction.
  3. Only two more weeks left.
  4. Marvin Lewis will step down as Head Coach of the Cincinnati Bengals.  Hue Jackson’s days are numbered, as it is being reported that Hue is wanted back in Cincy.  Good luck assholes.
  5. This week is Super Bowl Week (Explain in a bit)

 

^ I think it moved?

Well, here we are Browns fans.  One last week coming up to get a win.  My beloved Brownies head into Chicago to face the 4-10 Bears.  This is it.  This likely the last shot the 2017-2018 Cleveland Browns will have at winning a football game.  While the public will be taking a collective dump over both teams, especially the Browns, this game is one of the more important game for me in some years.  Just win a fucking game.  The prospect of 0-16 is fucking miserable.  I do not wish it on fans of my biggest rival.  Time for Hue Jackson to shut his fucking pie hole, and coach this team up for a win.  I need this one more than any other football game, because 0-16 is something that will be nearly impossible to come back from.   Something’s gotta give, right?

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As always, Go Browns!!